Being a parent of two is a lot harder the I or Jon even imagined. Curses to those who said it was easy, you forgot to add that it is easy when they are older, and can play with each other! Don't get me wrong I love out children and don't regret having them at all not even for a minute.
The last couple of weeks I have been falling behind in everything: Cleaning the house, sleep, time with Brett, visiting teaching, blogging, bills, laundry, paper work, church callings, spending time with Jon and on and on and on. I feel like I am standing in a deep pit and dirt is being thrown on me and I can't shake it off so I stand there and get buried. Sunday evening I was so mad at everything/everyone and I realized why some moms get postpartum depression, you just get buried and you don't know how to get out. Part of me want to hide in a dark corner of my closet and cry, then find a big bag of chocolate cookies and eat them all. I do have to note that Jon has been great, he cleans the house and takes the kids so that I can get out. He even let me buy clothes and craft supplies and for whatever reason it doesn't help. What is wrong with me, when has shopping never helped?? There are so many changes that are taking place(Fridays blog elaborates a little), and they are causing huge amounts of stress on Jon and I.
In all honesty I wouldn't classify my problems as postpartum depression, I am relatively happy. I am by no means show the signs of postpartum depression. My question is why do I feel like I am sinking and not swimming? How do I change this? Any help or insight would be great!!
I am going to start writing blogs on Sunday and have them post through out the week(I normally do this but have fallen off the wagon). So if there seems to be things that are posted a month after they happened or if I do not respond to your emails/phones calls right away, please realize that I am trying the best that I can to stay afloat.
I just realized something as I am writing this post......Jon and I HAVE to go to the Temple and we have to go soon. Now I just have to figure out how I am going to do that with a new baby!
Katherine update: She now weights 9 lbs. 8 oz. There is going to be a side bar spot for her progress.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
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2 comments:
1) It doesn't get easier when they get older. You will adjust and be able to handle it a little better. There will definitely be moments that feel much easier. But they get older and then all of the sudden you're cleaning poop off of one while screaming at the other to "drop that kitchen knife before you slit your own throat!!" Or one wakes up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, after they've been sleeping through the night for forever. You finally get them back to sleep just in time to find another one is awake and wants a drink. You should read my latest post. And I would highly suggest making the time (as hard as I know that can be!) to read the couple of talks I linked to on Balance. Last week I was feeling VERY much the same way you have described here. It seems nearly impossible to keep up with the demands of life. We talk about prioritizing, but how do you determine whether it's more important to fulfill your church calling or spend time with your family? Or to take the time to plan FHE verses plan you Sunday lesson? I'm still working on figuring out what's most important in the moment, but in the mean time reading the words from apostle of the Lord on the subject has helped me to remember to have an eternal perspective, strive to have the spirit, and not to be upset with myself that I just can't do it all. Because I can't. I can't do it ALL. You're doing wonderful and feeling like you're sinking is completely normal!! It may not get easier, but I can promise you that if you stay close to the Lord it will, at least for a time, get better!! Love you! Let me know if you ever want to talk!!
Man I feel the same way as you do!!!! Here are some things that have helped me!
I feel that getting a routine down has helped me.
Getting out of the house by myself helps me to feel better even if it is 30 mins.
Girlfriends are an answer to prayer. It helps having other moms around to talk to and get the stress out!
Writing in a journal and prayer have helped me to coupe with internal feelings that i dont want to share to others
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