In Laws

A few weeks ago I visited my friend and her husband Jake*, who had just had their first baby. During my visit my friends mother said, "Jake will be so glad when I am gone." Jake just laughed and said, "maybe."

That got me remembering and thinking. When I was growing up I knew a lady named Joan and she didn't get along with her mother-in-law. I had heard many stories of things that pulled the two apart and I often worried about my relationship with my future mother-in-law. I was scared that I would spend most of my life dreading visits from my mother in law. That fear grew as Jon and I got into a serious relationship and it continued to grow until I met his mom. The first time that I met her was when Jon and I went to pick her up at the Idaho Falls airport. She came through the security checkpoint and all that she could do was cry and hug and tell me how much she loved me. Imagine the shock and relief that I felt after all the years of worrying about my future "monster-in-law"! I have been blessed over the years that our first meeting wasn't some fluke or that even after all the very stupid things I have said and done that I haven't fallen out of grace with her or dad for that matter. They truly love me for who I am, and would do pretty much anything for me and I them. So you may be be able to understand the little bit of sadness that I feel when I hear comments like the one that Jake's mother in law made and his response.

I have been thinking a lot about eternal families lately and how amazing they are. How wonderful is it that we can be together forever? I love the comment that President Hinckley made a while ago in reference to eternal families and links(I am going to paraphrase). Basically he said that we need to be strong link, because weak links will break our family chain between here and the after life. That got me thinking about links, who am I linked to. By marriage I am linked to my wonderful sister-in-law. She is linked to her husband and he is linked to his brother Sam through their parents. Sam is sealed to his wonderful wife, Jessica. Thus through the wonderful plan of eternal families I am sealed to Jessica. This leads to another story. After Jon and I were married, we would spend thanksgiving at my sister-in-law's house. This particular Thankgiving I was 11 weeks pregnant and dying or so I thought. On Thanksgiving day Sam and Jessica came over with their little boy Cameron. We were all sitting around the table talking about adoption, you see Sam and Jessica adopted Cameron because they were not able to have their own kids. As we are talking about adoption, I tell Jessica that I want to adopt at least one child. Oh man, that really made Jessica mad. She was so upset that I wanted to adopt when I could have my own kids. She told me that I had no right to adopt, and that I should be grateful that I was able to have my own. That I shouldn't be allowed to adopt kids out of the system, when there were other people who have been waiting years to adopt. You can imagine that I was angry and hurt. My sister-in-law tried to explain that they had been waiting three years to adopt, but I was still hurt and refused to let it go. It was one of the reason I didn't like her at all. It has been three years since that conversation, I got an email from my sister-in-law the other day; telling me that Jessica and Sam just adopted a boy and a girl. At first I didn't really care, I just hoped that maybe Jessica wouldn't be so bitter anymore. Then, I had this conversation with my little shoulder angel and devil:

Angel: You should be happy for them.
Devil: Why, they are so bitter and they hurt you. They were in the wrong when they made those comments about you adopting.
Angel: They have waited for so long to add to their family, they were hurting.
Devil: So.
Angel: They are your family you are linked eternally, you need to forgive them. Love them for who they are despite their shortcomings, they are not perfect and neither are you!

I bet you know who won. Since the little bit of enlightenment, I have felt a great burden lifted off my shoulders. I no longer have to carry around the resentment that I feel for them. I am glad that they have added two more to our family and soon they too will be linked to us eternally.

Why are our In laws always the bad guys? Why can't we love them in spite of all the things that they do to us? What makes you so perfect that you are exempt from forgiving? Jesus said love everyone. He didn't say love everyone, but your in-laws cause they drive you crazy. You are linked eternally, love them now. Let the little things that they do roll off your back, especially if they have tried to apologize for the dumb things that they did. Realize that you may not be as innocent in a situation as you would like to believe that you are. Life is so short, don't spend it being mad at the ones that you are spending eternity with. Remember that you are not perfect and neither are they, but we are all trying.

Sorry it is so long, Jessica really got me thinking.


*Names in the related stories have been changed to protect the slightly innocent.

Brett Robert Wierchi

I am pretty sure that I have not shared this, but if I have you will have to forgive me.

Back in April, we were teaching Brett how to say his full name. We were very successful, he would say, "Brett Robert Wierchi." Ok, so maybe not so successful with his last name, but hey you can't fault him for that.

Since then when Brett gets in trouble we will call him by his first and middle name. To that his reply is, "Wierchi!" Occasionally when I call him by his first name, he will finish by saying, "Robert Wierchi."

Other funny things that he is saying:

Mingo=Flamingo
Sell Sone= Cell Phone
Canols=Candles
Tato head=Potato Head
Luff you= Love you
Lefulant=Elephant
Fink so=Think so
Funder=Thunder
Kafren=Katherine
Sinosaur=Dinosaur
Nuggle=Snuggle
Piklick=Piglet

A Boy and His Tractor

Everytime we go down to Grandma and Grandpa Wierschke's house there are a few things that we have to do that are a must. For the last year the list consisted of cooking something with Grandma and her mixer and helping her do the dishes (which usually consisted of a simultaneous bath). Since June the list has grown to going for a ride in Grandpa's Van and taking a tractor ride with Grandpa around the yard. Grandpa lets Brett drive the tractor around that yard with out any help, unless he is going to run in to something. Then Grandpa lends a helping hand.

Can you imagine the fun that Brett would have on Grandpa Hodgson's backhoe?


Even a rainy day doesn't put a damper on their fun.

* I have more pictures and video, but I am not quite sure where I put them.

Kay Kay Bug

Jon started calling Katherine, "Katie Bug." Brett loved it so much that he now calls Katherine "Kay Kay Bug." He is so cute, and he loves his sister so much.
We are trying to teach him to take his binky out when he kisses his sister!

Giving his sister kisses and squishes(Hugs).

Buying Crystals

In Jon's research he works with cubic zirconium. I am not really going to get into what he does with it because, my explanation won't do it justice. The important part of this is that he works with cubic zirconium (not the pretty ones that look like diamonds, see below).

Katherine was having a super hard day and so she had been crying pretty much all day. I think Jon had stayed home with me that day to help me out. It was his turn to try and calm her and nothing seemed to be working. In an effort to get some work done he tells Katherine, "Come on sis, lets go buy some crystals." Surprisingly she calms down, I was amazed. After a minute or so of looking at crystals, she starts to scream again. Jon comes out of the den and says, "I guess she doesn't like that type of crystals."

Kate At 2 Months

When Brett was little I took monthly pictures of him, as a result I have a nice picture time line of his first year. I decided that I would do the same with Katherine. Babies grow up so fast in their first year, it is fun to see the change.
Oh, how we love our little girl!

We Are Moving

I told everyone that we were trying to move. Since the last time I posted about the situation we have been bumped to third on the list. Someone already living in the complex wanted a three bedroom and insiders get first pick, so we got bumped. Which now means that it could be longer then a few months to get into a three bedroom. The complex has a two bedroom that is available on september 8th. It would have been available sooner but the couple living there has been there for 20 years. So management has to go through and replace a bunch of stuff, including but not limited to: hardwood floors, appliances, linoleum, and drywall.

We are going to ask our current landlord for a one week extension. Even though I don't think that she will budge on her deadline, I know that the Lord can soften hearts. So now we need prayers for our landlord or we are still going to be homeless.

Not So Fantastic Sams

I have been meaning to post about this but have been so behind in everything, that it has been shoved off until now! About 7 weeks ago(that puts is event the Saturday before Katherine's blessing) I decided that I wanted to get my hair cut*. So against the advice of my mom, who warned me that it is not a good idea to get a hair cut the day before a big event, such as said blessing, I did it anyway. It wasn't like I was getting a perm or coloring, it was a simple cut. Three inches off and a few layers, you really can't screw that up.

So I went to Fantastic Sam's and owner told me that I had to have my hair washed no matter what, even though I had washed it the night before( I have never had to have it washed in the past). So I got it washed and I told the guy what I wanted and in about 8 minutes he was done, and I was scared. Scared because I have had my hair cut many times and I know that it takes longer then 8 minutes to cut my hair and put layers in it. It looked ok at the moment and so I went to go pay and the woman charged me $10 for a wash. I didn't want to cause a huge stink(plus I had to hurry home to sis, so I paid her and left. I get home and realize that when he "layered" my hair he parted it down the middle and not off to the side like I always part it. So when I part it like it is suppose to be all of my "layers" are on one side. Problem number 2 is the fact that he took off like, I don't know 5 inches!!! So my hair is really short, well shorter then I like it. Problem number 3 is that I have to either wear my hair in a really tiny bun, due to the fact that I have very little hair or curl it before I go out. I can't leave it down and uncurled because it looks like a rat came along while I was sleeping and gnawed off 5 inches. Lets just say that this Fantastic Sam's is not so fantastic.

I will have to wait a year before I can fix the mistakes that they made, and I will not be going back(in case you were wondering). I have also learned to listen to mom!! Oh by the way my mom used to do hair and she was in shock when she saw what they had done to my hair and found out how much I paid them.

I don't know if you can see how bad it is, but honestly the picture don't do it justice.



*Note: After having a baby you feel, how do I put this.....not yourself(mom's you know what I am talking about). When I have to go out in public after a baby, especially for an event where I am going to be in the spotlight, I like to look good. Which usually means that I buy a new outfit, get my hair done, paint my nails whatever it takes to make myself feel good and not the sleep deprived mother that I usually am.

So Tired

We have been so tired at our house, that a little boy can't wait to be put to bed. I was feeding Katherine on the couch, and I all I heard was silence. Most moms know that that means trouble. So I got up to go find him and he was tucked up next to the couch(which is why I couldn't see him) and dead asleep. We know exactly how he feels!
*This is a normal sleeping position for him.

Bedtime Stories

We read tons of books before we put Brett to bed. His all time favorite book is, "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight" by Jane Yolen. It is a super cute book, but what is even cuter is that Brett has that book memorized and does what the dinosaurs do at the end of the book. Like kissing mom and dad and giving them big hugs.
He loves to point things out in the books and knows the words that are coming on the page.


Our love for books has worn off on him! Here he is reading to Katherine.

He loves to give her kisses when she is sad, or in this case very very mad!!

More Change

As if our little family hasn't endured enough change in the last year, we are at it again!

We have decided that we need to move to a bigger place. Our apartment is two small with a toddler and a baby. So for the last couple of months we have been looking around, and we found a place that is about 400 more square feet and a nice back yard. The best part is that it is $350 cheaper then the place that we currently live in. Sadly there is a wait list and we are #2 on the list. You may think that that is not bad, except that our current apartments lease is up in about 3 weeks. When we talked with that landlord she told us that we either have to move out by the end of the month or sign a new 1 year lease. My question is, Are you kidding me? We are going to be busting out of the seams if we stay here another year. The place that we want to move into says that it will not take a year to get us into a place, they estimate that it could be a couple of months. So we are trying to figure out if we should move our stuff into a storage unit and be homeless for a couple of months OR just up and sign a new lease.

This is a super stressful situation for us, because it could mean that our little family is apart from each other for a few months. The longest we have ever been apart is a week and that is really hard on us. We are all happier when we are together.

What we need, is your prayers.

Sinking

Being a parent of two is a lot harder the I or Jon even imagined. Curses to those who said it was easy, you forgot to add that it is easy when they are older, and can play with each other! Don't get me wrong I love out children and don't regret having them at all not even for a minute.

The last couple of weeks I have been falling behind in everything: Cleaning the house, sleep, time with Brett, visiting teaching, blogging, bills, laundry, paper work, church callings, spending time with Jon and on and on and on. I feel like I am standing in a deep pit and dirt is being thrown on me and I can't shake it off so I stand there and get buried. Sunday evening I was so mad at everything/everyone and I realized why some moms get postpartum depression, you just get buried and you don't know how to get out. Part of me want to hide in a dark corner of my closet and cry, then find a big bag of chocolate cookies and eat them all. I do have to note that Jon has been great, he cleans the house and takes the kids so that I can get out. He even let me buy clothes and craft supplies and for whatever reason it doesn't help. What is wrong with me, when has shopping never helped?? There are so many changes that are taking place(Fridays blog elaborates a little), and they are causing huge amounts of stress on Jon and I.

In all honesty I wouldn't classify my problems as postpartum depression, I am relatively happy. I am by no means show the signs of postpartum depression. My question is why do I feel like I am sinking and not swimming? How do I change this? Any help or insight would be great!!

I am going to start writing blogs on Sunday and have them post through out the week(I normally do this but have fallen off the wagon). So if there seems to be things that are posted a month after they happened or if I do not respond to your emails/phones calls right away, please realize that I am trying the best that I can to stay afloat.

I just realized something as I am writing this post......Jon and I HAVE to go to the Temple and we have to go soon. Now I just have to figure out how I am going to do that with a new baby!

Katherine update: She now weights 9 lbs. 8 oz. There is going to be a side bar spot for her progress.

Zoo

I took the kids to the Zoo last week with out Jon(I know, I am brave). We didn't make an all day thing out of it(which makes it kind of nice to have year pass, you can stay as little or as long as you want.) We stayed long enough to see our favorite animals and to check out the new kids are!
Brett's second favorite animal, the seals

Wanna know the secret to managing a two year old and a infant......a leash. I got a few weird stares(clearly those mothers don't have two little ones). Mostly I got compliments on what a great idea it was. Personally I don't mind the weird stares, I don't want to loose my son just because he was too busy looking at something and I had moved on. Brett is showing off His leash. Thanks Grandma Hodgson, it was a lifesaver, I would have lost my goodness before we left the parking lot!!!

A really colorful bird. Can anyone identify it? If you can and have proof to show me, there maybe a little something for you!

Brett's favorite animal by far! Yeah that baby is pushing against his mama, and she isn't moving and inch.

Brett checking out the seals

This is a train that goes over the tunnel that leads to the entrance. It was kind of cool and really loud!! Do you see those dark storm clouds? Lets just say that before I could get the kids in the car, it was pouring and I got soaked!!! You can see more pictures of our trip on the Felt's blog. There is even a picture of my backside, which I am sure you are all dying to see!!

Thanks for having us, Keriann and James!!