My Christmas Story

Ten years ago, Christmas definitely didn't mean the same thing that is does to me today. Sometimes I find that Christmas is hard for me, for anyone to understand the change that has taken place you have to understand, where I have been. 14 years ago, my life changed completely. My maternal grandma had died, and my grandpa(age 89) came to live with us in our small/modest home. There was an instant bond between us, not just a biological bond, but a tie that bound us together. My days with Grandpa were wonderful, I would come home from school and immediately go into his room, and spend the afternoon cuddled up watching old westerns. When we were not doing that I was making up games that we played at the dinner table. On Sundays we would go for long drives through the country. Our summers were filled with trips that included lots of fishing (I hated eating the fish so if I caught any, Grandpa would eat it for me). This was my life, and I loved it. Don't get me wrong, grandpa and I had lot of ups but we had our downs too. It was nothing that I couldn't fix with a kiss and three little words(I love you).

In mid-November 1998, I don't remember the date, but the memory is there is if it were yesterday. I came home from school and ran in to grandpas room to watch some old westerns
and as I threw back the curtain to him make shift room, his bed was empty. There was no need to search the house, I knew he wasn't there. I remember inquiring to my mom about grandpas whereabouts, she told me that grandpa was sick. I begged my mom to let me go with her to the hospital, but not just to visit, I wanted to stay with grandpa. To my delight she agreed, I missed two weeks of school and I could have cared less. My aunt is an educator and when she came up to see grandpa, she told mom that I needed to go back to school. Reluctantly I went back to school, I waited everyday hoping that the inevitable would not come. The day did come, I begged Heavenly Father to bring him back to me. When I realized that he would not give grandpa back, I begged him to take me with him. Apart of me died that day, my heart felt like a big chunk was taken, I hurt physically and spiritually. All I wanted that year for Christmas I couldn't have. I ended up in a depression, For several years after that, I lived in a dark world. I dreaded Christmas, I couldn't find anything happy or exciting about Christmas or about life. I always loved getting presents, It was after the days festivities were over that I found myself remember better days, wishing and wanting for things that I felt I could never have.

Life got so hard for me that I pleaded for help from above. I remember what one of my young women leader had told me about the atonement. I learned that the atonement was not only to take away my sins, but that Christ suffered every pain and illness. He was the only one who knew what any of us is possibly going through. So I started to pray, and ask for the comfort that I needed to move on. I got the comfort that I needed, but it didn't happen over night, it took time. To this day my heart still hurts a little, I find myself out of the blue, crying because I still miss him.

Over the years I have been able to fill my void with things that I love, ie: My wonderful husband, my loving little boy, and my love for my Savior and his gospel. It is because of the Saviors birth and his subsequent atonement that I am able to love life again. It is why I am here today, it is why I am able to find joy in life. To this day I still rely on my Savior, I need him everyday.

It is always nice to get fun gifts this time of year, but the best gift we have ever been given was our Savior. If you get nothing else from this post, please remember that no matter how hard life gets, there is always one person who knows exactly what you are going through. Never hesitate to turn to Him, his is your true friend and advocate with the Father.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

Change

I'll admit it, I HATE change. I have a slight problem when I find something that I like, I don't like to change it. Some people rearrange their furniture every couple of weeks, and I like mine just the way that it is. I mean why change a good thing, right? For better or for worse, in the last couple of months the Wierschke household has under gone LOTS of changes. Some for the good and others, well I guess we will see.

For some strange reason, I have decided to change our Blog. I loved the colors, don't get me wrong, but we just needed some change. After the holidays are over and I have more time, I will be make more changes to the blog. Please check back in a couple of weeks, it should be exciting. I also see the need to change our family photo, I think that I look a little more flattering now then I did when we took the photo. I am excited cause that photo is really old.

I am excited and a little hesitant to share a personal Christmas story with you. For some reason I feel a strange and overwhelming need to share it, or I would not be doing so. I am currently working on it and will most likely be our next post.

Until then, 16 Days til Christmas!!

Santa??

Just thought that I would share a picture of my cute little Santa Clause!
I can't wait for Christmas!

Just Keep Swimming

We just got back from our thanksgiving break last night. I have already started decorating the house today, I think this is the longest I have gone after thanksgiving before I whip out christmas decorations. I think that I deserve a little pat on the back. No offense to those of you who start putting them up after Halloween, but I feel that cheats thanksgiving a little. I wait atleast until the day after, although sometimes I think I should wait until december officially begins. The anticipation kills me too!

I am starting to feel better, we are crossing our fingers that this will be it. I have vowed not to go to the hospital(mainly ER) ever again.

School for Jon is winding down, he finishes regular classes this week and then it is on to finals. After that we hop a plane to my parents house for a short little break.

So I have to share some very exciting news. Before we mom and dad wierschkes, mom gave Jon a little bag and when he got to the car(I was already in the car) and handed it to me. I figured that it was misc. stuff that we had left. I opened it up and there on the top of the pile was the Mormon Tabernacle Chior Christmas DVD with the King Singers!! I have been looking foreward to that all year, and had every intentions of buying it. Mom and Dad beat me to it and got it for me for Christmas. Tonight we are putting up our Christmas Tree and Watching King Singers!

Just found out about Elder Wirthlin. Sad day, but I am glad that he is with his beloved wife.