Postpartum Depression Part 2

When you start to feel the weight of the dirt crushing you, giving up is about all that you can think to do, and I was ready to give up.  Until I found out that there was a sister that lived close by that went running everyday.  I invited myself to go running with her.  She was so kind in letting me tag along and I am sure that I altered her exercise routine and that I talked her ear off way more than I should of.  She ran a mile every day and I pretended to run, it had been seven years since I have actively ran, due to knee problems so I was definitely not in running condition.  Still I knew that my friend would be by every morning and so I got up and went with her.  Her kindness meant the world to me and she was a positive force in my running.  I cried the day that I ran a half mile with out stopping for water or a break.  Running with my friend coupled with Essential oils, and I was starting shake the dirt off and step up.

We moved from Michigan to Washington and I started to have a tough time again.  Things in Washington had not gone as planned and even though we are still in a better place, things were starting to get really rough again. I had stopped running and stopped using my essential oils.  Christmas was hard, I had not had a Christmas that hard in the last 14 years.  I was actually praying that Christmas would pass me by or that maybe I would just die in my sleep of Christmas Eve.  My mother and my sweet husband were doing everything in their power to help, My mother and father bought me a live Christmas tree that smelled soo good.  Jon bought me a poinsettia  which is a tradition and something that I love to get at Christmas time.  The best gift ever was when everyone had pitched in and made me a distributor for Butterfly Express, the company that I get my essential oils from.  Christmas was better than I had plan and I started to shake things off again.  This time I was not going to let it get me,  I started to faithfully use my essential oils and  I asked out back yard neighbor (who is in our ward) if she would watch the kids while I went running everyday.  She agreed and two days later I was out running the neighborhood. I ran for what felt like forever in a huge circle and ended up at home.  I felt great and I didn't stop when the running got tough, when it got tough I could hear a voice in my head telling me to not stop but to slow down.  Encouraging words kept coming to me during my run and I was grateful for the voice of my Michigan friend helping me through my run.  I mapped my run and it was a complete mile, I was elated and I cried again.

I am still not past this depression, but I am in a better place. I am re-working at my testimony of who I am and striving to become a better person.  I think that Satan has been able to easily drag me down because I became complacent in prayers and scriptures.  I know that when life gets hard that I need to work hard to pull myself up.  I have learned not to judge those poor mother who have depression and I hope that someday I will be able to use my experience to help someone else in need.  Feel free to ask questions in the comments below or to send me an email, I am very open and willing to help in any way.